Are You The Average of Who You’re Hanging Out With? EPS 174
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On episode 173 we talked about whether affirmations are actually working for you or not, but we briefly touched on who you’re hanging out with and how this may influence life and career decisions. So, we decided to pause that conversation last week so that we could build on this concept in today’s show.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
We open the show with a few comparisons in the sport’s industry and Elizabeth so eloquently put it that we mirror our energy to what we’re surrounded with. I use an example of my coaching style (specifically soccer and baseball) in that I seek opportunities for my teams to play up a level with more experienced athletes so as to help develop skills that they otherwise might not gain by playing against teams that are not quite at that higher level. Of course this shouldn’t always be the case as I will explain later in the show about my own philosophy on individuals with varying degrees of success that I associate with.
This all begins during childhood
As kids how many times have we heard from our parents/families telling us about who we should or shouldn’t be hanging out with? Heck, we’ve likely heard this from our families even as adults. Are we actually the company that we keep? How much choice do we really have if we’re referring to family members? These particular situations obviously must be handled with care and may require the most time and effort to assess the long-term effects if these relationships are severed.
Sometimes we do have to be in certain situations or around certain people that may be giving off a negative energy, and we may have limited control or say in the matter, but how you respond in these situations is critical to your success. An actionable step to how you respond may just be to listen rather than engage in negative dialogue or feelings that may be occurring. If you happen to be in a group setting where an outsider is viewing this from another perspective, they may take notice. By elevating your approach and not buying into the negativity you’re in fact modeling positive behavior that someone else may attempt to emulate.
It’s time to make that list
We know this must seem so hurtful, but if you’re going to be you, the most excellent version of you, then you may have to re-evaluate what your current relationships are offering you. To see these people in your mind is one thing, however a very small and actionable step is to make this list a bit more tangible. Just like in the affirmations episode, you’ve got to write this down and visualize the next steps you’re going to need to take to ensure that you are going to have a better opportunity at being the best you. If there are folks on this list that are just not accepting of who you are or what you are about, if they aren’t rallying with you when times are the most challenging, then it might be a good time to part ways.
With more success comes more criticism
If you weren’t able to make that list, then maybe this will help. Look around and ask yourself who is with you through thick and thin. Who are those that are trying to tear you down as you are finding success and hitting your stride? If you don’t see this happening, then look again. If you still don’t see it, yes, look again. We’re certain that at some level no matter how inconsequential it may seem that there are certainly the naysayers that will poke their heads up and attempt to tear down even your smallest win.
Create a category
As I eluded to on the show, I at one point found myself struggling because of some of the company I was surrounded by. Now let me preface by saying as I did state this on the show, I love hearing from all of you and enjoy helping and mentoring as many folks as I can, but I was in a personal circle of friends and colleagues that seemed to keep taking that energy away from me. These situations in my personal life we definitely spilling into my professional life and it wasn’t sustainable for either situation. Thankfully my partner in life helped me get those eyes wide open and start seeing these relationships for what they were. These were very linear relationships that only seemed to flow one way, their way.
After making a reassessment and spending several months and even better part of a year to redirect my focus, I was able to dial in on what I thought would be more sustainable. I now focus on aligning with three types of individuals:
- Those that I personally feel are more successful than I am (success is really subjective to each individual)
- Those that I personally feel I am more aligned with in a day-to-day and same level of success both in life and business
- Those that I feel I am aligned with and at a level where I can mentor them, but also learn from
Shape your life
By making a conscious decision and creating actionable steps to align yourself with people who’s energy you’d like to mirror, you’re shaping your life to be the very best version of you. Again, this takes time, but set realistic goals to get in you in front of and in the company of those you most admire and want to mentor.
What actionable steps are you taking to shape a better you?
Today’s show is sponsored and brought to you by Fastaff, the leading travel nursing resource. Be sure to check out the #NursePraiseLove contest as mentioned on the show. We would love to know how being a nurse has enriched your life.
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My favorite affirmation I teach my students to say "I can do this"